Leaping and Trusting the Net

There is something to be said for cultivating a belief that says ... doing what is true for me means hurting another. Why does this seem (and i choose the word 'seem' consciously) to be true? Will i ever be able to embrace without guilt another belief that says...i love you AND i am not responsible for your reaction? What would this world be like if choosing what was best for you only created happiness for those who loved you? It is proving quite challanging to dispute my ego voice that lectures me, shaking its head and tsk, tsk-ing. "You are a self-centered little girl, Miss Konkin. It is always about you. You are cold and callous and you will reap your just reward." Interesting that i now steep myself in a philosophy that is trying to remind the world that IT IS actually and only about you. It only can ever be about you, because without loving yourself and wanting the best for yourself, you will fail in doing so for others. So, perhaps i have been right all along...now i just need to keep it up -- minus the guilt. Ah, the guilt.

Two more nights in my brass bed before i sleep in a brand new bed and step into a brand new chapter. I am in a place of FEAR...Feeling Excited And Ready, that is.

Hmmmmmm...i am listening to Shawn Colvin sing I Don't Know Why...and i am connected. "...but if there were no music, i don't know how i'd get through...' AMEN.

Love is pink pajama pants. Happiness is a book you can't put down. Pride is watching the Flames win tongiht 3-0. Truth is that i am going to know bliss beyond anything i have ever imagined. Gratitude is a choice.

Well, then, thank you. 'Tis good, and very good.