To Edit or Not to Edit

I have been blogging now for a couple of months and only recently has it occurred to me that people that I am just getting to know may be reading my blogs.  It is just now occurring to me that perhaps I should watch what I say...paint myself in a better light...edit my truth.  What is that all about?  Why is being totally truthful something that only seems appropriate after the two people have established trust? Up until that point does one benefit from hiding the less attractive thoughts and feelings away...??
 
What is my truth right now?  What do I know for sure? In a sea of uncertainty - what is true about me?
 
I am not unhappy. In fact I am astounded at how many times a day I am still blown away at how blessed I am...yesterday, for example...hanging out on Granville Island, playing guitar, singing, throwing a frisbee, going back to Kevin's for a BBQ...I totally understood how, from afar, we were the picture of youthful, summer, carefree fun.  That is my life on many levels.
 
Did it mean I was any less lost in what choices I should be making? No. Did it mean that I am convinced that Vancouver is the place I belong? No. Did it erase my pain about Mike's cancer or The Invisible Friends or my financial woe? No. But yesterday was a good day none the less and this I am certain of: my life is pretty fantastic, even in its mixed up state.
 
I am certain that it is all happening perfectly, even the stuff that is a struggle.
I am certain that whatever happens I will never regret moving here.
I am certain that today is not the end of this chapter.
I am certain that I could be happy and miserable and joyful and ignored and adored and frightened and brave anywhere in the world...that now it is becoming about where it is I can best feed myself...
 
I am certain that I  want to be authentic. If it scares someone away then I am saddened that they did not choose to see what might lie behind the words....I will not worry, though, as I believe that truth is the sexiest thing going...
 
That, and nice forearms.