"Space"

Sometimes even those we love the most need space. Sometimes that is an afternoon of space and sometimes it is 12 years of space.

I am notorious for being a woman who will come to a point of needing space in a relationship. But i have also been the one who has been on the waiting end of a cherished someone's space-taking. This afternoon that wait came to an end - and it only took 12 years.

His name is Carmen J. Price and he was one of my truest friends in high school. He was also the best friend of a boyfriend of mine at the time. When the boyfriend and i broke up, so did Carmen and i...much to my dismay. But never did i stop loving and missing this man. He can hate me, i thought, but one day we will be friends again...and i waited. And i waited. And then today i went to a free jazz concert in downtown Vancouver.

On my way out the door i heard his voice. "Krista J. Konkin??" it said. And i knew it was him. I turned and looked and there he was. Older and wiser, but still so much the same, he smiled at me and i felt my breath catch. I threw myself into his arms and believed once again in patience. In faith. In lifelong friendships. He was glad to see me. He was lovely. He was like coming home in a world of 'brand new'.

It was like finding Derick again in January after our two year silence...i sat at my piano after that and a song wrote itself...the first lyrics were...'welcome home, piece of my past, song in back of my heart, good to see you again...'. Tonight i sat in room of brand new friends. They were funny and interesting and novel. But it isn't the same...we don't have a history...not yet...

So i thank the Universe in its perfection for the old friends, the new friends, the kindred spirits and the companions. Balance is a beautiful thing.

And as for space...

If someone you love needs it...give it with your blessing. They were never your possession and loving them was always a gift - with or without their reciprocation. Have faith and keep your arms open for their return. Move on with your life, hold them close somewhere in the back of your heart and have faith. Emerson said it best...

"If you want a friend, be a friend."

And so it is, Ralph, and so it is.