Chaos in Kelowna

This is hilarious.

I am living in a trailor with no real shower and not alot of water and have been handed a job that is an undefined as the project.  I have an amazing view of the lake, but no internet signal unless i venture into the woods and hunt down a wireless connection, a phone that i can't use to call out, but never stops ringing and a list of TO DOs that is long and completely incomprehensible.  I struggle to understand what a POA is versus a PRA, i say the words Strata and foreclosure and property value with flair while wondering what i could possibly be talking about and i return to my trailor at the end of the night to crawl into my sleeping bag and wonder, once again, how i got here. 

I just keep laughing. I know that will be the only way i will survive.

Jennie has left Eric and has been offerred a dream job in Vancouver.  I want this job to work out so that i have a reason, purpose and income to keep me in the Van City where she and i can live together and pave new paths for our new dreams.  I don't know if this pipe dream will manifest, but it is what keeps me here at La Casa ( the name of the resort). Well, there is possibly more than one thing...

I spent Sunday with a man named Brent.  There are alot of things that i could say about this day, but i don't want to try and pin it down yet.  Sunday was spent in a haze and Sunday night in a dream-like state.  He makes me smile and he grants me escape.  I know not why, but he seems completely familiar and totally surreal. 

This of course stirs up feelings of guilt in regards to Aidan...who is also returning to Vancouver in a month.  Although, i know better in my old age...and i have said this before..many things can be true all at the same time.

Like the fact that i want to go home right now and i want to stay and excel.

Like the fact that i feel completely fulfilled and totally still at a loss.

Like the fact that i would kill for a shower and ....

ok, no, truly....i would kill for a shower.