Coach to the Coaches

If anyone can tell me how to tell the difference between the ego voice and the essence voice, i would really appreciate it. They tell you to follow your inner-voice, but they fail to mention that there is more than one that speaks and all of them quite articulate. The only clue i have found is that the essence voice never seems to speak in any sort of panic. It is always quite calm and funny and loving.

ANYWAY...

My birthday was fantastic...thank you Seth, SJ, Matt, Mike and my most magnificent mom. Walked the suspension bridge, drank a chai latte, recieved flowers, took in a movie, chatted over Greek, worked on my tan. Then the next day i A) had an appointment with a career councellor where, somehow, i ended up councelling HER and B) went to a promotions interview where i found out that i would have to promote CIGARETTES and walked out half way through. Just stood up and walked out. Money can never mean that much. Still...i do need a job and one of the voices was saying....WHO ARE YOU TO BE PICKY?? Then the other said..."you know who you are. leave." And so i did.

Yesterday i had a brilliant job interview. Thank God.

I also watched Miracle and seeing Casey shook me up...as i knew it would. Question to the world:

Something tells me to find him and see him. Not that i would know what to say. But i ignored my instinct with Jamie and looked what happenned. Now it is too late and i will never see him. Thing is...if seeing Casey just ends up being hurtful to him in some way have I really done a good thing or a selfish thing? Last thing i would want to do was cause more hurt in any way, shape or form...still i am haunted by this...

Haunted by a man i have never met and his brothers who i didn't love quite enough.