10 Shades of Suck
This is how many people in my life are presently describing their lives : 10 Shades of Suck.
Makes me feel slightly guilty for being so damn happy.
I had an extra-ordinary weekend. Jennie and i are a power couple. Everywhere we turn people are asking us if we are sisters or twins or some such thing. The dance on Saturday was...shocking? dramatic? progressive? I dunno. Having Jen there made the whole thing feel so different. I have never had a safe social harbour to go before - i loved it. I also got up the guts to dance with a couple of leads that i have not had the confidence to dance with yet. To top it off i spoke to someone that i have not spoken to in awhile. This last item has been what has stolen my thoughts since its occurance. I am exhausting myself trying to figure out a situation that involves a man. You would think at 28 i would know how useless that is.
But, then again, you would also think at 28 i wouldn't be listening to Clay Aiken's Invisible and brooding about my secret crush.
Fuck "being 28". I yam what i yam.
A littel bit child-like, a little bit perfectionist, a little bit extrovert, a little bit teen angst.
Tain't black and white...
...but who would've thunk that grey could be so beautiful?
2 Comments:
Ya, precisely, who would've thought grey is so beautiful?
You write really well!
Hey Krista,
I was checking the blog on your web site. I kept seeing "secret crush" thing over several posts.
So here's a guy's perspective on what to do:
The first questions I ask myself, when I find that I am attracted to a girl is:
What am I looking for here?
A very simple question, with profound meaning, if answered honestly.
Am I looking for a deeper releationship?
Am I looking for affirmation?
Am I just looking to get a romantic feeling? (in which, case I really don't want to do anything)
Say that I am actually looking for a deeper relationship, then the next step would be to get to know her better one-on-one -- so I ask her out to dinner. Of course, this can be a little different than if I am already friends her -- and a little scarier.
Do I put the friendship at risk by introducing romance?
If I am thinking about that person for a while (looks like have been) and I am ready for a relationship (which is the big question for me -- I've decided that I don't want an exclusive relationship right now. You have to answer this question yourself), then I tell them how I feel sometime during the date. The big risk is that they'll reject you. But then you can move on with your life.
I've discovered that dancing is a good preparation for this. Sometimes when I ask a girl to dance she says no. That used to be hard. Now I don't take it personally and just move on.
Anyways, the summary here is -- no risk, no gain!
Dance on, babe!
Matt from Portland
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