God Jar

This is the name of the imaginary band inside my head. God Jar. I see the T-shirts and the CD with a whole lotta liner notes.

I was a bully about the blogging and VOILA! Please visit my best friend's blogsite at www.jenniegrado.blogspot.com.

Oh, and my friends Ian's new, very cool website at www.iansherwood.com ... and listen to The Last Word...a brilliantly written angry/sad mid-tempo ballad...boy angst all the way.

My weekend was kinda cool, kinda wierd. I intended to go to What The Bleep Do We Know on Friday night by myself - a little Krista date - and ended up jammed between 3 single men - one of whom was terribly cute. I just sorta mentioned that i was heading to a movie after dance class and all these guys decided they wanted to check it out, too. At the end of the night, as one of them drove us all home, we dropped the 'cute one' (how shallow am i being by giving him that label?) off at his house and GUESS WHERE HE LIVES??? In the exact same house that Seth (Aidan's friend) lived in and then Sara-Jeanne lived and in and now Allison and Jeremy live in. I mean, of all the homes in Vancouver, how does everyone i know come to live in this exact same house??

Saturday i spent with Ryan in North Vancouver. And Saturday night i put on a red wig, painted a P on my shirt, blacked out an eye and went swing dancing as a Black Eyed Pea. Sunday morning i sang some crazy gospel song to a room of about 200 people. In the afternoon i got an amazing Shiatsu massage and last night i lay on my couch and contemplated the world.

BUT TODAY I GET MY CAR AND MY JENNIE.

So, as of right now, Monday is kicking the weekend's ass.

I am still needing some advice regarding my secret crush. Ignoring him is energy draining for me, because when he is in the room i am so incredibly aware, and i care so incredibly much, that this ignoring thing is just so false. Yet, he ignores me with such ease, joy and grace. I hate being false, but i also hate trying to connect with someone who treats me like cellophane. When he speaks to me, which is pretty much never, i respond with kindness (aka joy). Otherwise, i FORCE myself to forget that he is sucking the breath from my chest by his very presence.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I have successfully regressed to Grade 6.

If anyone has any advice...or life experience dealing with a situation like mine...please please please let me know.

And then if we could pretend like we never had the conversation, that would be swell. Just so i don't have to be reminded how juvenille i am being.

I will leave y'all with this quote:
"Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of habit. " **** Somerset Maugham

Somerset also said this: 'What mean and cruel things men do for the love of God.' If you are doing mean and cruel things, you are doing them for your ego, not god. Write your own bible, people, and we'll compare notes.