100% Drama Free

This is going to be a big week for me.

I am mailing a letter to the secret crush telling him everything. So, at the end of this week, i will also be blogging his name (instead of calling him the secret crush) and i will be talking about it with friends. I am, in no uncertain terms, coming out of the closet. I am ready to release this 'issue' by using honesty and deflating the excitment that secrets create. I am ready to move on.

So, i ask myself, if i don't have this to stress about, i am left with literally nothing in my life that resembles drama. Nothing that causes me stress, upsets me, sits in my thoughts hour after hour, gives me something to talk about. I could potentially be 100% drama free. I don't think i have ever EVER been 100% drama free. I believe that is what some would call complete contentment. I am curious, i am intrigued, i am even a little bit frightened.

I will let you know how it feels. Perhaps more of us should try it on for size...

MY APARTMENT ROCKS ASS! Bit by bit, project by project, day by day my apartment is becoming my sanctuary. I need to find a house tree and some unfinished pine letters, develop some photos, create the wall art...i mean, i am far from finished, but WOW it already feels different being at home. I sat on the floor staining shelves and listening to the Love Actually Soundtrack last night, little white lights twinkling and my knee poking out of my favorite, destroyed 'paint jeans' and i was sooooo happy. So happy. Nesting. I love it.

Writing out my Christmas wish list, listening to John Mayer and asking this question: is it more painful for something to just 'fade' than it is for there to be a distinct and justifiable reason for a relationship to end? Can evolving away from each other ever leave us feeling ok about the situation? Is it possible that one could choose to like someone who they are sure doesn't return the feeling because it is a safe way of caring, but not having to act on it?

Hmmmmmmm.

I send you all a world of sockettes, smells of cinnamon, Lush face products, hudson bay blankets, video clips of adorable nieces saying hello, Greek food with a hottie and parking spots right in front.