Jane

5 years ago today Jane left us.
She was both truthfully afraid and completely graceful when she said goodbye.
Or so i heard.
I never got to be there in person.
She decided to let go of her human form as i was flying in a plane from Vancouver to Calgary to say farewell.
But i easily believe that she made even dying look classy.
I miss her.
I miss her because in a family of 'let's look at this realistically' people, she would simply get up off the couch, put on her coat and shoes and do it.
I miss her for Alex who will be blessed in many ways, but won't ever know the one thing in my life that has brought me the most joy - a mother.
I miss her for Sean who, in losing her, didn't crumple like most would have, but has become a man that i am so distinctly proud to call my brother.
Believe what you will, but i know she - the energy that was her passion, her personality, her mind, her love - did not go anywhere. The illusion is that she left. The truth is we are just now more challanged as to how to communicate with her.
She can hear me, my thoughts, as i type this.
So,
Jane, thank you. I miss you. I love you.
We are ok here. We are taking care of each other. Alex is absolutely amazing. I know you are so proud of her. We all are.

'Lest we forget...
we blog to remember.