Deep Cove Convictions

If you licked me right now i would taste like sea salt.

Or ocean salt. Or something like that. Just got home from losing my kayaking virginity. That, after a full day yesterday at the nude beach, has me feeling oddly sensual and spent. Summer. God, i love it.

I can't help but hope against hope that tomorrow that phone will ring with a job offer...because i am falling in love with this place.

Although i have felt strange lately about my neutral palate when it comes to the world of men. I am meeting great guys and have every desire to get to know them, to befriend them and maybe, in a rare and special event, to have sex with them...but...i have no desire to find an exclusive, monogomous boyfriend or get involved at any deep, give-my-heart-away level. Neutral. With Aidan, i miss him and i love him, but i also don't want to be inside a 'we'...which keeps me neutral. My wondering is if this is a cold and unloving place in which to find myself or merely a holding pattern that exsists because it needs to and will cease when timing dictates?

Been thinking about Alain Therrien lately...an old high school friend that i haven't seen in over 15 years...i remember someone saying he lived in Whistler...i seem to want to play the role of 'Ghost of Things Past' these days.

Side Notes:
Harry Potter Part III = better than the second.
Robert Altman's The Company was to be a sure fire hit with me. I hated it. Go figure.

Generally, i am feeling loved...am feeling safe...

Except when i spend time being really quiet...then i can hear it...a duller sound than before, but there it is none the less...it is fear...and i would be a liar to say that i have beaten that dragon yet...

But it is all about what you CHOOSE to focus on. So, tonight i choose a chocolate truffle and some 40's jazz while folding my laundry...

Shoo, shoo...shoo, shoo baby...