I'll See Ya When I See Ya

So.
Hm.

I think i am being challanged to live in the moment. I think the universe is testing me to find out if i can be in something undefined, uncontrolled and that makes me totally vulnerable.

Can i connect with a human being, but when i leave the room allow them total freedom from my expectation, my labels, my box? Can a man give me that freedom? Can two people be happy without any sense of security - only the faith that in the moment they can make each other smile and smile and smile...

Can i wake up and leave someone i care about, who has just shared a very intimate time with me and simply say...I'll see ya when i see ya? And if they said that to me, would i, COULD I still feel wonderful about the time we spent?

I say yes.

I usual seek out labels. I don't know if that is true anymore. I nown seek my freedom more than i seek security. I hunger to find my wave and am wary of climbing aboard a new one...I think i can do this....this in the moment thing. I think it could be exactly what my life calls for right now.

La Casa on the Lake continues to be an adventure. I work many hours, get paid a bit, dangle my feet in the lake, read lots and take long, hot showers in the community facilities. It is an odd way to live, but i am kinda loving it.

Mom arrives tomorrow for a week visit. Should make it even busier here...i love my mom. Yeah, life is good.

And very good.