Cacophony

"In a wide sea of eyes, i see one pair that i recognize"

With two hours of sleep --- i stumble to put these thoughts down...so screw punctuation today or grammar or sentence structure or or or...

i float.

a cloud descended over the day i walked away from aidan, but in the rain that fell i knew i was washing clean a slate full of hating myself and i eagerly started painting a new picture of me.
i wake up now and i can't believe the life i am living.

i stand in the hallway of corporate souls, eating birthday cake, i sit at lunch with an old friend that has loved me since i was 15, i cash a cheque from a woman i knew and now know and i fall in love again....and again....and again.

this man, head propped up on a pile of blankets, hoping to save the world, hoping to inspire courage...burns an image of himself on my heart and those blue eyes and that red turtle neck sweater and that peanut butter off a spoon...it is a heaven i didn't expect...

so tired. so alive. so thankful for the steps it took to get here.
i even want to hug kevin for being so blind.

50 million parcels will be delivered today by canada post and in less than 50 hours i will be home. Christmas here and no snow but i have presents to give and lessons that i have learned

got on the bus this morning and a woman on the bus had a mental breakdown...started throwing a fit...screaming and running all over the bus...we all had to get off...but all i could think was...she has never had someone hold her face gently and tell her how beautiful she is...she doesn't know...and now we will label her 'mad' and lock her up. I , like jordan, want to save the world from itself and yet

i am back to where i started at the beginning of this blog. telling people where the lake is

when my only real goal should be to keep swimming....

face under water, eyes open...and here comes 2005...waterfalls of happiness...

i give you: you.

it doesn't start with a C, but it is all the heaven you need.