Countdown Continues

In 12 Days I will be sleeping in my childhood bed, safe in Moose Jaw.

Contentment. A couple of Saskatchewan visits ago, i visited Rochelle and Owen at their ranch and commented on what a lovely life they had created for themselves out there on the bald prairie. "Contentment, Krista," Rochelle responded, "It's called contentment. You should try it some time."

And i took her word for it and tried it and now i am getting to understand what a life, content, can feel like. Watching my contentment disappear this weekend was awful. I was suddenly Krista from 2000 - worried, afraid, snippy, exhausted. (It was interesting that this all happenned because something really great had just happenned to me...hmmmmmm). Thank Being, That Which Is, that i have walked through it and feel pretty firmly on the other side. This would not have happenned a year ago. I am back to contentment...relaxed in knowing that IT IS ALL GOING TO BE OK. Risks are perceived and there should be nothing scary about feeling

so damn good.

Caution, be damned!

I choose carefree instead of chained.

CARPE DIEM!

A helpful moment: went up to Grouse Mountain on Tuesday night in a blizzard. I had the winter parallel of my first Seawall walk. In the blizzard i found clarity and such a deep communion with being Canadian. I slipped and fell and laughed and sipped Hot Coco. I pressed my hands and face to the glass in the gondola and felt connected, calm, consoled. Thank you, Eric.

So, 12 days til flying home and 15 til Christmas and 1.5 hours til lunch and 34 hours until i see Jordan again and 26 hours until the Company Christmas party and 22 days until this crazy 2004 ceases to be....

But that is the future. Til then i send you: Compassion, a clear complexion, cookin' compilation CDs, Comfort Comfort Comfort, Chile con Carne, cocooning, closure for those of you who need it and for the rest of us...

Cloud 9.