Controlling Control and the Co-Dependants

There is nothing easy about two individuals with 20-odd years of heartbreak and drama and experience choosing to share the most intimate parts of themselves and then asking it all to run smoothly, tickety boom.

In a perfect world where we all didn't invest in believeing a bunch of phooey that isn't capital T True, it would be easy. As it is, getting out of love's way is a challange. Then adding sex into the mix makes it an even bigger challange. Four sets of friends are currently getting divorced after a very short try at marriage. We want to share our lives, but in many cases we don't know how. It is tiring work, because it involves having to really look at your stuff, at yourself. It seems easier to stay single. Thus, Christmas time is the biggest season of the year for break ups. I have ex's out there that hate me, some that still resent me and others who won't even think of me. It makes you wonder if it is all worth it...

Then you wake up one morning and you see him sleeping beside you and you remember the night before when he had the courage to show you dark corners of himself .... you feel his hand pressed on your chest right where your heart is as if he almost reached out in his sleep to anchor himself and when he opens his eyes and sees you looking down at him he instantly smiles shyly. This man is both strong and weak and brave and afraid ... he is beautiful when he remembers and he is lost when he forgets. He looks at you to find out if you are still willing to stay and stay even after you've seen bumps ...and you are floored at how, instead of running, everything about him that morning is even more beautiful than it was before. There is nowhere you would rather be and the risks all seem insignificant. Then he kisses you like he must consume you ormaybe the moment and it is perfection and your body is screaming yes and your mind is screaming yes and your heart is screaming yes and so you have your answer...

Yes.

It is worth it.

But what do you think?

I give you: cottoncandy-sticky-fingers, crabapple blossoms, Calgary car rides with mom, caring just 'cause, century homes to renovate, can-can contracts, christmas coming soon, celebration of soltice, coupledom and contact info if you want to call me:

Dec 22-Jan 2: 306-694-1418.

I will await your answers.

Ciao.